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While you were sleeping: 1 April 2016

Bomb blast in Turkey kills 7, Trump to enlarge his tiny hands, and Azarenka through to Miami finals.

1 Apr

"I doubt he's read this book, as small as it is."

– Julius Malema, speaking of Jacob Zuma while holding a copy of the Constitution.

Story of the Day

Nkandla Judgment: The Mastery of the Concourt vs The Invincibility of Jacob Zuma
Has destiny finally caught up with the consummate Teflon Man? Many words have been tossed about in the wake of Thursday’s devastating Constitutional Court judgment on the Public Protector’s report on Nkandla. Recall, impeach, remove, resign – all considered possibilities now that the highest court in the land found that President Jacob Zuma’s conduct was illegal and in violation of the Constitution. But Zuma will not simply surrender. He is still holding an ace card and could drag the ANC down with him. By RANJENI MUNUSAMY.

While you were sleeping

Bombing in Turkey kills seven
A remotely detonated car bomb has killed seven police officers and wounded at least 27 more. The bomb exploded in Diyarbakir. In response, a besieged President Recep Tayyip Erdogan said the world would see the "true face of terror" in Turkey.
Read More

Trump to get a helping hand
The Orange Menace will soon undergo a dual hand-enlargement procedure. This is in response to nasty words flung his way by 'Little' Marco Rubio. By insulting Trump's hands, the bronzed one clearly feels the need to regain lost inches on his hands, and thus psychologically expel the demons plaguing his lack of metacarpal girth.
Read More

US offers Ukraine security aid
The United States has offered Ukraine $335 million in security aid. This is in addition to a third loan guarantee of $1 billion. Ukraine is battling crippling corruption internally as well as a Russian-backed rebellion in the east.
Read More

Azarenka through to finals
Victoria Azarenka has defeated Angelique Kerber 6-2, 7-5 to advance to the ATP Miami Open finals. Azarenka will face Svetlana Kuznetsova on Saturday. The professionals have split results in their eight previous showdowns.

In Numbers

14.6344

The low point of the dollar's strength against the rand. This was at roughly midday, following the ConCourt announcement on Jacob Zuma and the National Assembly.

Facts of the Day

Today is April Fool's Day. Believe nothing. Trust only your eyes.

Fact of the day: Some hotels use radio frequency identification (RFID) chips to track stolen towels. Think twice next time you're considering pinching one on holiday.

Weather & Financial Data

BFN: min: 16° max: 31°, cloudy
CPT: min: 15° max: 21°, rainy
DBN: min: 22° max: 31°, cloudy
EL: min: 20° max: 24°, rainy
JHB: min: 12° max: 29°, cloudy
KIM: min: 17° max: 32°, sunny
NLP: min: 17° max: 33°, sunny
PMB: min: 13° max 30°, cloudy
PKN: min: 13° max: 30°, sunny
PE: min: 18° max: 23°, cloudy
PTA: min: 15° max: 29°, cloudy

Oil=$39.58 Gold=$1,233.68 Platinum=$976.95
R/$=14.69 R/€=16.73 R/£=21.15 $/€=1.13
JSE All Share=52,250.28 DJIA=17,732.21 FTSE 100=6,174.90 Source

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FEATURES

	Nkandla Judgment: The Mastery of the Concourt vs The Invincibility of Jacob Zuma By Ranjeni Munusamy
	Trainspotter: King Con Court — Malema emerges victorious By Richard Poplak
	Cancelled: April Fools' Day 2016 By Daily Maverick
	Politicians say the darndest things: The Nkandla quotathon By Marelise van der Merwe
	Analysis: The Judgment at the end of the Nkandla Road By Stephen Grootes
	The ConCourt has ruled on Nkandla: What Now for Parliament? By Marianne Merten
	Nkandla ConCourt ruling: President Zuma and National Assembly in breach of Constitution By Marianne Thamm
	Nkandla ConCourt ruling: Thuli Madonsela vindicated, calls for Hawks to call off criminal investigation By Marianne Thamm
	Nkandla ruling: ConCourt slams National Assembly By Marianne Merten
	Qatar World Cup 2022: The painful price of scoring a job on a stadium site By Greg Nicolson
	Like their deadly product, Kenya’s illegal boozers go from strength to strength By Njeri Kimani
	Why are we less tolerant of boxing injuries than in other sports? By Antoinette Muller
	While you were sleeping: 31 March 2016 By John Stupart

OPINIONS

	Concourt’s Nkandla judgment: What the law says By Pierre de Vos
	The Sacred Pact is dishonoured: But will the Sword of Damocles fall? By Judith February
	The Peasants Revolt, 2.0: Will we listen to the Wild Coast voices this time? By Ayabonga Cawe
	We must protect the Constitution: Nobody is above it By Andrew Ihsaan Gasnolar

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While you were sleeping: 1 April 2016

Story of the Day

While you were sleeping

In Numbers

Facts of the Day

Weather & Financial Data

Now on Daily Maverick

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